Saturday, February 6, 2010

December 23, 1959 - 13 East 81st Street, New York City

December 23, 1959 - 13 East 81st Street, New York City
© M.R.H. Guerriere 12/2005 aka Absinthe Angel 777 - disclaimer below

"Janice honey!" Melinda Pappas piped the cheery announcement which rang through the large, festively decorated apartment. "There’s somebody here to see you!". She gracefully walked past the inner doorways each festooned in holly garland. Drawing her thumbs underneath her silky black hair she readjusted the tortoise shell clip which held it back and smoothed out the bunching of her crimson cashmere sweater.

Not hearing a response, she leaned her long, sensuous frame around the hallway door and called sweetly towards a small, smoky, half-lit room. "Jan?"

Wearing nothing but a rumpled, oversized men’s light blue pajama top, government issue olive drab boxer shorts and biting a short cherrito, Janice Covington stormed past Melinda making a bee-line towards the entrance. She grumbled through a tousled mop of blonde hair as she eyed the slim male figure begging passage and slammed the door in his face.

"Hi Jan! Merry Christmas!" greeted the muffled, stranded voice from outside the hallway.

"Janice! You didn’t!" Melinda admonished the shorter, headstrong woman who made a return trip to her inner sanctum . Melinda stopped taking dishes down from the cupboard and ran to open the door.

"Henry! Merry Christmas! Please do come in!" Melinda kissed the cheek of the tall, gangly teenager who patiently waited in the hall, almost knocking off his horn-rimmed glasses. "It’s so good to see you!"

"Hey Melinda! Merry Merry Christmas!" The boy scratched the side of his Vitalised head and blushed at the slight attentions from the tall, gorgeous brunette. He hurried to pick up his two battered tan suitcases and large leather briefcase. "Thanks! Boy, the place looks swell, Melinda!"

Melinda waved her long fingers in dismissal. "Oh, you know how I love to decorate. Here, let me take your coat! Isn’t the snow so pretty on Fifth Avenue?" She took the boy’s thick herringbone coat and hung on a heavy, wooden hanger. As she twisted the glass knob and shut the door to the outer stairwell, she asked, "Did you have something to eat or come here straight from the train station?"

"I came here right away. My train got in at 5:35."

"Well, you’re just in time for supper. You make yourself comfortable. Excuse me just a moment, darlin’. I’ll be right back."

The boy smiled and nodded, sat in a comfortable chair and looked out the large window at the falling snow.

Melinda went through the kitchen following the strains of John Coltrane to a small, dark room packed wall to wall with books. She closed the door behind her, walked over to the radio and turned off the music. "Janice Covington, you are the rudest thing on earth. That is your baby brother out there who came all the way from Pennsylvania and the very least you could do is wish him a Merry Christmas!"

"Half brother." The stubborn, muscular blonde grunted and took a drink of Old Rip Van Winkle bourbon never looking up from what she was reading. "And I never asked for him or any of the other bastards my father left."

"Hmpf!" Melinda pursed her lips, put her hands on her hips and thought a moment.

Melinda turned in place slowly as if to leave then came back at Janice. Manicured fingers took the rocks glass out of Janice’s hand before the drink once again reached her lips and set it firmly down on the mahogany coffee table. Melinda draped herself on the arm of the heavy, leather upholstered chair and into the other woman’s lap. Red nails slowly passed through Janice’s hair and crimson lips overtook hers in a slow, seductive embrace. "You never asked for me either. But aren’t you glad you found me?"

Janice took in the deep, heady scent of Melinda’s sultry perfume and attempted to steel herself. "Play nice, Mel."

"I never play nice." Removing black cats eye glasses Melinda opened her bright, blue eyes wide and begged, "For me? Let him stay for me and I promise that Santa’s prettiest helper will come to you dressed in red satin lingerie."

Janice grew quiet, licked her lips and thought a moment. "Will she play games with silk scarves and candy canes?"

"She will!" Melinda dug her nails into Janice’s chest. "I guarantee she loves to play games like that!".

"Deal. But he stays out of my way."

"Agreed." Melinda kissed Janice on the cheek and sauntered to the door slowly, looking back with a victorious smile. "Janice, put on some real clothes."

"Why?"

"So I can take them off later, silly. Dinner will be ready in ten minutes."

Victorious once again, Melinda checked her appearance quickly in the full length bathroom mirror and made her way back towards her cooking.

"Henry, how’s your mother?", Melinda checked on the roast in the oven and called out to the boy in the living room. "She does know you’re here, doesn’t she?"

Henry leaned against the wall in a crisp, white, button-down, short-sleeve shirt. "I told" the young man’s voice changed pitch three times within the two words he spoke. He cleared his throat again and braced himself in the kitchen doorway. "I told her I was coming here. She was busy with her new boyfriend. I’m not sure if she really paid much attention."

Melinda cocked her red holiday oven mitt to her hip. "Got another beau, has she?"

Henry scratched his head again. "I told her you were going to show me around Columbia University. Columbia!" I can’t believe it! Melinda! Oh wait!"

He raced into the other room and came back with his briefcase, dumping the contents of a cloth bag onto the kitchen table. "I’ve got something really neat to show you!".

"Well, you aren’t accepted yet. But with your grades, we can sure try." The roast sizzled as it came out of the oven. "Now isn’t that a tasty little dish? Mmmm……"

Janice entered the kitchen in loose dungarees and a white men’s button down shirt with rolled up sleeves. She took a fag from a pack of Old Gold cigarettes lying on the table, flicked open a battered engraved Zippo, lit the end and drew on the tobacco deeply . "Hey, don’t flirt with me in front of the kid."

Smoke curled from her mouth as frantic eyes searched the table for a coffee cup. " Mel, you wanna stop standing around and make me some joe?"

Transfixed on a multitude of old coins he was pouring from a sack, Henry ignored the banter and carefully laid out the metal rounds in neat rows on the kitchen table.

"Well, if that isn’t the snazziest coin collection in the world!" Melinda exclaimed as she measured out the ground coffee and put it in the steel percolator.

"Yeah!" Henry proudly surveyed his cache of primitive money. "I sold my stamp collection and started with coins!"

Janice furrowed her brows and made a delicate reach for the dullest slug in the lot.

"I have some coins from ancient Greece I can give you." Melinda offered "Janice and I dug them up when we were in Macedonia. But they’re so common. I don’t think they’re worth anything. Right Jan?"

Janice ignored the question and turned the coin in her fingers around slowly. "What college does he want to go to?"

"Columbia!" Henry offered. "Gee, I’d really appreciate those coins from ancient Macedonia! That would be so boss!"

"And how much does it cost?" Janice continued.

"Remember the museum staff dinner I went to a few weeks ago? I was introduced to a charming handsome professor from Sarah Lawrence University, who happened to be a Columbia alumnus. He was so nice. Not at all like the average Northern academics I’ve encountered." Melinda popped open the small white oven door a few inches to check the progress of her roast, "He offered to give me a lovely letter of introduction for Henry! Knew everything imaginable about American Indians! So tall, what a smile! If only…"

"Yeah, if only." Janice rolled her eyes masking jealousy. "Melinda, I asked you a question. How much does it cost?"

"I’m sorry, dumpling, was I ramblin’ on?" Melinda pouted with innocent batted eyes.

"You were." Janice warned with stern sarcasm. "Are you gonna tell me now?"

"4 years at Columbia?" Setting the roast lamb into the middle of the table alongside large dishes of mashed potatoes and green beans, Melinda sighed. "Realistically? A small fortune. But with his grades and the letter of introduction, I was hoping to get him in."

"He’s going." Janice snapped the coin face up in the middle of the table like a Las Vegas royal flush.

"What?" Henry gasped.

"You’re going." Janice looked at her brother expressionless and then to Melinda. She cut her meat. "I don’t know where the fuck…"

Melinda picked up the gravy boat, sighed and shook her head at the cuss words.

Janice smiled knowing she was annoying Melinda. "Or how the fuck you got this coin but it will pay for 4 years easy."

"I" Henry started to explain but Janice put her hand up in front of his face.

"Welcome to the Covington clan, Hank. We don’t reveal our sources. We’ll sell it in the morning. Now eat your dinner."

"Whoooo hooooooooo!" Henry cheered and ran out into the living room jumping and screaming. "I’m going to Columbia! This is crazy man! I’ll be in Fat City! Whoooooooooooooo wheeeeeee! "

Melinda smiled and from under the table secretly ran a toe from Janice’s ankle up to her knee and teased her inner thigh.

"Can I have some milk, Melinda, dearest pal?" Janice’s eyes popped out of head with sexual frustration as she jiggled her glass.

"You’ll get more than that." Melinda poured the milk into the glass, never unlocking eyes with Janice. "You old softie. Merry Christmas."

Janice squinted at the compliment, "Shut up."

"Make me." Melinda’s eyes smoldered a challenge.

"I might."

Melinda kept the eye contact for a few enflamed seconds and changed the subject. "Thank you. For your brother I mean."

"Kid’s a fucking genius and he’s slick. I didn’t do anything."

Henry stood at the doorway, panting and breathless from screaming.

"Calm down Hank. We didn’t sell it yet." Janice reminded the excitable boy.

"Come and eat, Henry" Melinda pointed to the chair "A college freshman needs his strength."

"But you will, Jan, right?" Henry pleaded.

"You will sell the coin like you promised, won’t you Janice?" Melinda placed her hand on Janice’s, squeezed it tight and stared across the table.

"I’ll find a buyer. I always do. I’m a Covington."

Janice stared at the dirty coin again and chuckled with thoughts of the neat little profit she was about to make. "Merry Christmas, indeed."


To be continued…..

Copyright and Disclaimer Information
© M. R.H. Guerriere 12/2005 aka Absinthe Angel 777

Legal disclaimer: Mel & Janice are the property of Ren Pics and MCA/Universal - who knows?. The other character is mine.This is amateur fan fiction only. This story may not be reproduced without my express written permission. Thank you, dear reader, in advance for taking the time to consider this piece. Happy Holidays! - MRHG
Download Hermes X.1
copyright 2005 Absinthe Angel 777 aka M.R.H. Guerriere - disclaimer below

bardalicious: Hi!
argo1: GREETINGS
bardalicious: Nice profile :)
argo1: Thnx
bardalicious: I read your post about the hypocrisy of that Centurion and I so totally agree.
argo1: Yeah well.
bardalicious: Something wrong?
argo1: kinda sore about it
bardalicious: He had no right to speak to you that way.
argo1: Mmmm
bardalicious: I know that bitch Alti thinks she knows everything and trashes your posts - but really!
bardalicious: I think you had the right to kill him.
argo1: well the judge didn't see it that way
bardalicious: Have you been back to Rome since?
argo1: No, it's complicated
bardalicious: I can imagine. I've never been to Rome, just around here. So you like horses?
argo1: Yup
bardalicious: Do you collect them?
argo1: I used to. I just have one now. Gets me around.
bardalicious: Have you ever gone to Sapphos on Fridays?
argo1: no - saw posters for it tho
bardalicious: It's so awesome. You enter through a trap door near the old well,
the really old well, not the rebuilt drinking well around the block - the one that's soooo ancient and decrepit.
argo1: ?
bardalicious: Anyway, you go down like 6 steps and through this long tunnel
and it opens out into the most amazing dance floor UNDERNEATH THE PARTHENON!
argo1: ?!!
bardalicous: Don't let those Centurions fool you, I've seen some things
those guys do down there - they aren't all as macho as they'd have you believe! I saw some on leave.
argo1: oh THAT. i know.......
bardalicious: so will you take me?
argo1: where?
bardalicous: to sappho's on friday!!
argo1: hmmm
bardalicous: come on! I swear I'm not a guy! You even know my friend Joxer.
bardalicous: He works there as a barback.
argo1: but
bardalicious: but what?
argo1: I didn't know the parthenon had a basement!
bardalicous: just go with me! if you hate me you can leave!
argo1: ok but I
bardalicious: listen - meet me at midnight by the Erechtheion
argo1: when again?
bardalicious: FRIDAY!!!!!!!!!
bardalicious: by the olive tree
argo1: ok I am kinda tall and have black hair
bardalicious: I KNOW! ;)~ *wink*
argo1: how will I know you?
bardalicous: you can't miss me I'm the only blonde
argo1: ha ha
bardalicious: no comments!
argo1: I promise ;)
bardalicious: listen, I have to go my little sister's here =:0
argo1: k
bardalicious: if you see Joxer tell him we're going
argo1: I probably will
argo1: ciao babe


FIN


Copyright & Disclaimer Information

Legal disclaimer: Xena & Gabrielle are the property of Ren Pics and MCA/Universal.

Notes from the Author: This story may not be reproduced without my express written permission. Thank you, dear reader, in advance for taking the time to consider this piece. I truly appreciate it. Enjoy! -MRHG

Indecent Proposal

Indecent Proposal

© M.R.H. Guerriere 12/1/2004 aka Absinthe Angel 777


TIME FRAME: SOMEWHERE BETWEEN SEASONS 1 & 2
(Actors and crew were on break. When the staff is away - the characters will play!)

SCENE I

EXT. MIDDAY OUTSIDE SMALL WALLED CITY

Xena on horseback, Gabrielle behind her on same saddle.



XENA
Here we are. The Kingdom of Eroticus.
Minor conspiracy against the King. Easy money!

GABRIELLE
Xena, we’ve been to ten villages in two weeks.
I thought we were going to rest!

XENA
C’mon. Piece of cake.
Besides, it’s on the list Hercules gave me.
(waves parchment)

GABRIELLE
(grabs parchment and reads)
"To Do"
Xena, this is a scrap list from Hercules?
We’re doing his "B" list work?

XENA
It’s things he couldn’t get around to.
Besides…they pay.
You know Hercules can’t take money.
He’s a God.

GABRIELLE
Demi-God.
Hercules was through this area 2 weeks ago.
Why couldn’t he finish this job?
Why didn’t he come back to this place?

XENA
I don’t know and I don’t care.
All I know is, it’s on the list and we’re getting paid.

GABRIELLE
(cocks head curiously reading parchment again)
We’re doing clean-up for Hercules.
How nice.
OK. Make it really quick. I am so tired.

XENA
(reassuring)
Hercules said the King was very, very friendly to him and Iolaus.
Herc said this job screamed Xena and Gabrielle.
And besides I already sent word ahead to the King.
Everything’s in place.

GABRIELLE
(sarcastic and tired)
Who are we dressing up as this time?

XENA
No dress up!
We’re Xena and Gabrielle.


GABRIELLE
(sigh)
OK. If there’s food, a pillow and a bed. I’m in.

XENA
Just play along.

GABRIELLE
There had better be a bed, Xena.

XENA
There’s a bed. There’s a bed.
I promise.




Xena and Gabrielle slowly ride up to snoozing guard.
Xena kicks the side of the door.
Guard suddenly bolts up.



XENA
I’m Xena the Warrior.
I have a meeting with King…
(looks at a different piece of folded parchment, double-checks name)
Fallus Rex


Gabrielle grabs Xena’s waist tighter, hides her face in Xena’s back and snickers.
Guard opens gate.
Xena elbows Gabrielle.
Xena clears her throat and maintains a sober face as they ride through.

SCENE II

INT. THRONE ROOM


KING FALLUS REX
Allow me to introduce my husband Titus

XENA
(curious then formal)
It’s an honor. And this is my wife and business partner, Gabrielle.

KING
Delighted.

TITUS
(nods to Xena, then to Gabrielle)
Charmed.

GABRIELLE
(Polite but suprised smile. Slight bow to King and Titus)
Your Majesty. Lord Titus.


Gabrielle shoots Xena an angry glare.
Xena raises an eyebrow as a warning to keep Gabrielle from openly discrediting her statement.


XENA
Your Majesty, would You please excuse Gabrielle?
She needs to lay out her equipment in our room.


KING FALLUS REX
Guards please escort the Lady Gabrielle to their sleeping quarters.


Guards pick up Xena & Gabrielle’s satchels and start to walk down the hall.
Gabrielle turns away from King and bends in to say something to Xena.


GABRIELLE
(curses in a whisper)
Xena! You…you!

XENA
(cuts Gabrielle off, speaking loudly and smiling, pushing Gabrielle towards the guards gently)
Don’t worry about me, dear.
I’ll be along soon.


Gabrielle stamps down the hallway,
mutters to herself,
almost knocks over a wrought-iron candelabra,
readjusts it as it teeters,
then runs out of sight to keep up with the guards


TITUS
Charming girl.

XENA
(ascertains Gabrielle’s departure)
She’s very excited to be here.

KING FALLUS REX
So, you truly believe the conspirators will be present at the feast tomorrow night?

XENA
Definitely. Everyone has been notified of my arrival?

KING FALLUS REX
Yes. I leaked the information to the court’s most notorious gossip

XENA
And you sent the invitation out to Hercules who arranged to decline at the last moment?

KING FALLUS REX
Yes, but wouldn’t you rather be working in secret?

XENA
No one can resist fame, Your Highness.
Celebrity draws the power-hungry like moths to a flame.
Your enemies will make an appearance.
Now, I believe my work is done here for the evening.
I’ll make a brief inspection of the castle and see you in the morning.

KING FALLUS REX
Goodnight Xena. In the morning then.

TITUS
Xena, I arranged to have dinner sent to your quarters for you and your lovely wife.

XENA
That was very thoughtful.
Thank you, Lord Titus. Goodnight.


Xena turns tongue in cheek with a smirk on her face and strolls slowly around the castle.



SCENE III

INT. XENA & GABRIELLE'S SUITE

One candle is burning, next to a table of half-eaten food.
Gabrielle is laying in a huge bed, her back facing the doorway.
She does not move.
Xena pops a few grapes in her mouth,
strips off all her clothes and slides into bed, next to Gabrielle, under the covers.



GABRIELLE
I’m not asleep

XENA
(signs)
I was trying to be quiet

GABRIELLE
I couldn’t sleep.

XENA
The work is all done for tonight.
Just relax.

GABRIELLE
(exasperated)
Xena, you told them I’m your wife!

XENA
I told them what I had to tell them.
It’s not a big deal.

GABRIELLE
(firmly)
We’re lying in bed together, naked.
You have your arms around me and this entire castle believes
that I’m the mate of Xena, Warrior Princess.
That’s a very big deal.

XENA
I didn’t tell you to lie here naked.

GABRIELLE
That’s not the issue.

XENA
(quietly exasperated, leans into the back of Gabrielle’s head)
What is the issue?

GABRIELLE
This kingdom.
They’re not entirely cut off from the world you know.
Traders, other bards do come through here.
We’re not inconspicuous.
People talk.
What if my Mother hears about this?
What about my friends in Athens?
Gabrielle the Bard marrying Xena the Warrior Princess?
(laughs)
Who would believe that?

XENA
(sarcastic)
I didn’t have time to propose properly and get a blessing from everyone you know, OK?
The point is that for a few days I need you to do some spying for me.
And this is how you’re going to do it.

GABRIELLE
Since when do I have to marry you to spy?
Hey! Keep your hands still, Xena.

XENA
I know the architect of this dirty little cabal will try to get to me
through you if they think we’re together.
I know there’s a conspirator among the King’s confidantes and
I’m expecting they will make their move at the banquet tomorrow night.

GABRIELLE
So you think they’ll try to bargain with me, kidnap me or attack me.

XENA
I’m anticipating that.
Yes.
Someone’s attempting to make a move.

GABRIELLE
Someone’s attempting to make a move all right.
(slaps Xena’s hand under the covers)
I don’t know.
This scheme’s a little over the top, even for you.

XENA
Come on Gabrielle.
Work with me here.
What’s the difference?
(slowly kisses Gabrielle’s neck)
You ride with me don’t you?
(kiss)
You eat with me
(kiss)
You bathe with me
(kiss)
You sleep with me
(lingering kiss)

GABRIELLE
(dazed, panting, trying to maintain calm)
I sleep with you because you’re always warm and I’m always cold.

XENA
(kissing Gabrielle)
You’re not cold now.
You’re very
(kiss)
very
(kiss)
hot.

GABRIELLE
You are so…dammit.
(concedes)
All right. All right. You win. I’ll do it.

XENA
(smiles)
I knew you would.

GABRIELLE
(turns to face Xena, buries her face in Xena’s chest)
Incorrigible bitch.

XENA
It helps.

GABRIELLE
You’re my mate for the time being then?

XENA
(slowly running fingertips down Gabrielle’s back)
Yup.

GABRIELLE
(smiles)
Really?

XENA
(confident)
Really.

GABRIELLE
(whispers)
So I can say the things to you I’ve always dreamed of saying?
I can say anything?
(licks Xena’s neck)

XENA
(pants)
Anything you want gorgeous.

GABRIELLE
Then what in Aphrodite’s name am I dressing like a peasant for?
I want new boots, a new outfit, a new cape and a better saddle to ride on.
I need a gown for this dinner.
I can’t go out there dressed in rags.

XENA
Oh no. No, no no no no no.

GABRIELLE
I’m the wife of a Warrior Princess at a formal banquet.
I have to look the part.

XENA
Gabrielle!

GABRIELLE
If you want all the benefits,
(tightly squeezes Xena’s wrist)
which you seem to be totally intent on taking,
then you have to pay for it.

XENA
(groans)
This is too realistic.

GABRIELLE
(sniffs)
Did you wash up before you put your hands on me?

XENA
This is not in the script.
(kisses Gabrielle’s fingers)

GABRIELLE
You wanted me to play along.
Those were your exact words.

XENA
Save this award winning aspect of your performance for the bad guys.

GABRIELLE
I’m interpreting the part.
What did you expect?
I’m a natural.
I was born to be a thespian.

XENA
(moves hands to Gabrielle’s breasts and resumes kissing her neck)
Mmmm…I always knew you had potential.

GABRIELLE
Xena.
(smiles at the kisses)
I said THESPian.

XENA
You don’t like women?

GABRIELLE
No. I don’t like women.
Women!
(huffs dismissively)
Not just any woman can come along and get me to lie in bed naked with her.

XENA
I did.

GABRIELLE
You’re not just any woman.
You’re my wife.
(grabs Xena’s face, pulls in close to her lips and seductively commands)
And you’re buying me what I want.
Now shut up and kiss me.
(kisses Xena)

XENA
This is treachery.

GABRIELLE
Exactly.

XENA
You’re so good for this role.


- END OF SCENE -

FIN

Copyright & Disclaimer Information
© M.R.H.. Guerriere 12/1/2004 aka Absinthe Angel 777

Legal disclaimer: Xena & Gabrielle are the property of Ren Pics and MCA/Universal.
Notes from the Author: This story may not be reproduced without my express written permission. Thank you, dear reader, in advance for taking the time to consider this piece. I truly appreciate it. Enjoy! - MRHG

Who Put the Dinar in You?

Who Put the Dinar in You?

© Absinthe Angel 777 aka M. R.H. Guerriere 1/1/2005 - disclaimer below


INT: A BEDROOM IN AMPHIPOLIS
NIGHT

Two girls are sleeping, one approximately 18, the other approximately 7 or 8




GABRIELLE
(gasp)

XENA
shhhh…what?

GABRIELLE
The big dragon, look!

XENA
(opens one eye)
That’s a tree. Shadows from a tree.

GABRIELLE
Dragon. (makes face at shadow)

XENA
shhh!

GABRIELLE
Am I gonna live here?

XENA
Sometimes.
Hopefully in your own room.
Go to sleep.

GABRIELLE
Why?
I live with my Mommy then I come here, with your Mommy.
Why?

XENA
(sighs)
Because one day, when you’re a big girl you and and Lyceus are going to get married.
And you’re going to live here with my Mommy.
I told you this a million times already.
Sleep.

GABRIELLE
(shakes head)
No.

XENA
What do you mean "no"?
Don’t tell me "no".

GABRIELLE
You don’t know anything Xena!
Lyceus lives with my Daddy at my house.

XENA
Because your Daddy is teaching him to put shoes on horses.
Just like he taught me.
We’ll see Lyceus again soon.
You’ll see him all the time when you get older.
He’s going to be a blacksmith, you’re going to marry him and you’ll live here.
End of story.

GABRIELLE
(shakes head)
No. Nuh uh. Nope.

XENA
(rubs her eyes)
Sleep Gabrielle.
Please sleep.
I have to get up and fish in a few hours.

GABRIELLE
I seeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee a dragon outside.
It’s red. He’s very pretty. He lives in the trees.
Do you know all the names of the trees?
We have an olive tree and a lemon tree and a cypress tree.
I climbed up them and I saw all the leaves.
There’s a big bird who’s head spins around in the tree.
Did you see the spinny head bird in the tree?

XENA
(groans and pulls her own hair)
It’s an owl. Please, I beg of you.
Before I start to cry.
Go to sleep.

GABRIELLE
(pulls a piece of cloth out from under the bed and opens it up)
And suprise!
I have my leaf collection right here!
See?
This leaf is a green leaf. It is very big and…

XENA
(small tantrum)
Gabrielle! Sleep!
We don’t need to see the leaf collection.
It’s the middle of the night.
The leaves go away.
Now.

GABRIELLE
(puffs up her face and pouts as she puts leaves away)

XENA
(faces away and tries to resume sleeping)
Thank you.

GABRIELLE
Xena?

XENA
whuttttttttt?

GABRIELLE
(shoves doll in Xena’s face)
You didn’t kiss our baby goodnight.

XENA
(rolls eyes, sighs in frustration, kisses doll)
Goodnight baby.
Tell your Mommy to go to sleep.

GABRIELLE
(settles down)
Xena?

XENA
Yesssssssss???????

GABRIELLE
It’s OK. I’m not scared.
I’m gonna live here with you when we get married.

XENA
When WE?
*ugh*…yes yes
Anything you say.
Goodnight Gabrielle.
Close your eyes Gabrielle.

GABRIELLE
Night night.

(bursts into song and bounces around)

Oh! We’re gonna fish fish fish tommorow! FISHIE! FISHIE!

XENA
(covers Gabrielle’s mouth)
Shhhhhhhhhh! Goodnight.

GABRIELLE
(giggles and bites Xena’s fingers. Closes eyes, pretends to snore)
Zzzzzzzzzzz! fishie Zzzzzzzzzzzz! fish fish fish ZZZZZZZZz……

XENA
(shakes finger out, lays down, nerves rattled, mumbles and collapses into sleep)
Yow! You bit me!
Oh Goddess. Help.
Why does Mom stick me with you?
She’s crucifying me for something.
What did I do to deserve this?



EXT. - EARLY MORNING - QUIET SPOT BY A RIVER


Xena & Gabrielle laying on a blanket in front of 3 fishing poles with tiny bells and submerged traps.
Xena is sleeping in the morning sunlight.


GABRIELLE
(into Xena’s ear)
ding! ding!
Bells are ringing.
Fishie’s nibbling.

XENA
(opens eyes and scrambles towards straining fishing pole)
Don’t bite me again!
Whoa! Yeah! Yeah!
Look at this!
I’ve got a huge one!

GABRIELLE
(talks to doll)
She’s caught a whale!
A big whale and Poseidon says "Xena! Ha ha ha! You’ve caught my whale!"
Look baby! Look! See the big fish?

XENA
(smiles and reels in a fish)
Poseidon said that to you, huh?
Here’s a whale for your dolly.

(throws wiggling fish in basket)

GABRIELLE
(looks in basket with doll)
Lots of them.
Fishie! We’re gonna eat you! Ha ha ha!

XENA
Yeah, lots of them.
(points out other fishermen in distance)
Look at those losers.
They only have to catch two maybe three fish.
They can’t even catch that.
I have to catch 20…..25…30 fish for the tavern before I can go home.
Pfffft…I’m much better than them.
And I’m here before any of them. Fishermen.
Ha…I’m ten times the fisherman any of them are.

GABRIELLE
Losers!

XENA
(laughing)
Hey! Shhhhhh! Don’t you say that!
Only I can say that!
Don’t repeat everything I say, you little monkey!
You’ll get me in trouble!

GABRIELLE
(clasps hands together, gives Xena an adoring look)
Well I love you!

XENA
(rolls eyes and rips up a piece of grass)
Yeah. Great. You love me.
Like I really need that!
I need a good-looking boyfriend is what I need.
Not these jerks that are around here.

(lays down on blanket)
Hey, If you love me so much can you watch the fishing poles again while I get some sleep?
Being that you didn’t let me sleep last night Miss Talk Talk Talk?

GABRIELLE
(mimicking Xena the night before covers Xena’s mouth)
Xena! Shhhh! Sleep! Goodnight Xena! Shhhhh!

(Xena smiles and closes eyes, drifts off)

(Gabrielle watches fishing poles, and puts her toes in the wildflowers but sees a woman staring at them in the distance)

GABRIELLE
Xena..

XENA
Shhh. I’m sleeping.
You love me, right?
If you love me so much, watch the fishing poles.

GABRIELLE
Xena..

(woman comes closer and stares)

WOMAN
(throws dirt at Xena)
You filthy pig!

XENA
(bolts upright, jumps in front of Gabrielle to protect her)
What? What?
What did I do?

WOMAN
You dress like a boy!
You’re filthy!
You’re lazy!
You should be weaving with the other women!
You’re not marrying my son!
No wonder nobody wants you!
I’m going to talk to your whore of a mother!

(woman storms away)

XENA
(jumps up rattled and screams)
I don’t weave!
I fish!
Go ahead!
I’m working for my mother!
Don’t you call my mother….
(kicks dirt in frustration)
I don’t want to marry your ugly son anyway!
You stupid bitch!
And I catch more fish than your damn husband!
And and - stay away from my baby!
(makes horned finger symbol)
All of you!
I curse you!
(throws a rock across the river)
Scaring us like that..
Hades….

(Xena pulls in fish from nets with tears staining face)


GABRIELLE
Xena? Don’t cry.

XENA
(wipes face and breathes hard)
I’m not crying.
I just - you wouldn’t understand, Gabrielle.
Are you OK?
She’s very mean.
(strokes Gabrielle’s hair, Gabrielle nods)

C’mon, let’s go home now.
We have enough fish.
Let’s get out of here.
Crazy woman.

(collects things)

GABRIELLE
(Xena shoulders the basket, balances her fishing poles and offers Gabrielle her hand,
Gabrielle grabs Xena’s hand and starts to walk down trail)
You caught a whale!

XENA
(still shaken, sniffing away the last tear, pulls Gabrielle close)
Yeah..I did.
Don’t worry.
Everything will be all right.


INT. CYRENE’S TAVERN


(Xena puts down baskets of fish,
Gabrielle runs into middle of empty tavern and starts to sing out loud and dance across the floor)

CYRENE
Your breakfast is on the table.
Catch anything today?

XENA
The usual.
More than any man in town.
More than 5 men in town.

(sits down to eat)

CYRENE
Xena. I hate to bring this up again but -



XENA
(frustrated)
I’m bored with it Mom.
I’m bored with the whole thing.
You don’t have to say anything.

CYRENE
But Xena.

XENA
She came here. I know.
She yelled at me down by the river.
I don’t care.
I hate her.
I hate her stupid son too.

CYRENE
Xena, this is the sixth boy.

XENA
(slams fist on the table)
I was fishing.
You need your fish, right?
Am I supposed to sit around like the other women?
What are we supposed to do?
Not get any fish?
Not have any food for the tavern?
You run a business, Mom.


CYRENE
Not curse at her.

XENA
She called me a filthy pig!
In front of Gabrielle too.
Scared her half to death.
She called you a…

CYRENE
(raises an eyebrow)
Oh she did?
She won’t be talking long.
I’ll deal with her myself.

XENA
Gabrielle!
Who put the dinar in you?
Eat your breakfast.

CYRENE
You never yell at Gabrielle.
That woman didn’t hit you, did she?


XENA
Gabrielle! I said…….NOW!
No Mom. We’re OK.

GABRIELLE
(stomps through tavern and sticks out tongue, sits next to Xena, wiggles in her seat and eats)

CYRENE
(laughs)
What an actress she’s turning out to be.
I think you interrupted her show.
I’m sorry Lyceus isn’t here to see this.

XENA
(eats)
Oh you mean so he and Gabrielle can kick and bite each other to death?
So they can both be in my hair?
I can’t handle the two of them together.
Yeah. I’m so sorry he’s not here so I can get stuck baby sitting two kids not one!

CYRENE
They’ll grow out of it.
He’s a big boy now. He’s almost 13.

XENA
You’re killing me, Mom.
She never shut up last night.

GABRIELLE
Go - to - sleep Gabrielle! Shhhhhh!

CYRENE
(strokes Gabrielle’s hair)
Don’t be so hard on her, Xena.
She’s a good girl and very intelligent.
Just a little creative.

XENA
Creative?
Is that what you call it?
I don’t know what she’s talking about half the time.
Half of it makes sense, half of it’s gibberish.
Except that she’s waking me up every five minutes telling me
there’s a dragon outside my window!

GABRIELLE
There is!

XENA
There is not!

GABRIELLE
(holds doll up)
My baby saw it!

XENA
You see? You see Mom?
I can’t argue with her!
I can’t win.

CYRENE
All right. Maybe Gabrielle can stay with me all day.
She can dance and sing and tell stories about her own little world.
And you can fish by yourself.
You can have your space.
And do whatever it is you want to do.

(Three seductively clad women enter the tavern and slowly make their way toward the kitchen.)

TAVERN WENCH #1
(yawns and shuffles past Cyrene)
I hope that regiment gets here soon.
I could use the extra dinars.

TAVERN WENCH #2
(pulls Xena’s hair as she passes)
Mornin’ Cyrene!
Hi Xeeenna.
(stops and pulls at Xena’s cutoff tunic)
Nice muscles.

TAVERN WENCH #3
Hi Cyrene!
(purses lips and gives a teasing wink to Xena as she walks into kitchen)
Helloooooooooo Xena!
Did you get taller since yesterday?

XENA
(blushes bright red, clears throat and continues conversation)
Well…I - I don’t know, Mom.

CYRENE
(eyes her incoming staff with a smile, then continues with Xena)
Gabrielle will be right by my side all day and all night.
You won’t have to argue with her.

XENA
But Mom…

CYRENE
And she won’t win all the time.

XENA
It’s not that - it’s

CYRENE
And she won’t bother you with her endless stories.

XENA
but..

CYRENE
About dragons.

XENA
Um..

CYRENE
And all the other things that annoy you.

XENA
Um Mom

CYRENE
Come on Gabrielle.
Do you want to learn how to be a waitress?

XENA
No! Mom!

CYRENE
Yes, dear?

XENA
(nervous)
I didn’t mean it.
I’ll take her.

CYRENE
You sure?
I can teach her how to wait tables with the other girls.

XENA
No. no. no.
I don’t want her to be a waitress. Really!
I’ve got her.

CYRENE
How to flirt for a tip!
She might teach you a few things!

XENA
Mom!

CYRENE
I’m sure we could make up a cute little dress.

XENA
No! NO!
She doesn’t need to learn that stuff!
She’s fine. Her stories are fine!
(moves seat closer to Gabrielle, puts arms around her protectively and shoos Cyrene away)
Go away now Mom!
I’ve got her.

CYRENE
(kisses Xena on the head)
You’re the best, sweetheart.
Too bad she can’t marry you.

XENA
(groans)
Oh no! Don’t start! Please don’t say that.

GABRIELLE
(shows doll to Cyrene)
This is our baby, Eve.

XENA
(hides face in hand)
Oh gods no…..


CYRENE
Really?
(looks at the doll)
What a beautiful baby.
Eve, is it?
Who’s baby is this, Gabrielle?

GABRIELLE
Our baby!
We’re gonna live here when me and Xena get married.


CYRENE
(winks at Gabrielle)
That’s wonderful!
You’re going to live here when you and Xena get married?
I’m glad someone nice is finally going to take care of my Xena!

(to Xena)
At least it’s someone who can handle you!
Hmm…she doesn’t want Lyceus.
Now will I have to give back her dowry?
(pokes Xena’s sides)
You really should tell me before you steal your own brother’s wife and have kids.
A grandmother is always the last to know!

(calls out to tavern wenches)
Girls! Gabrielle’s going to marry Xena.
My troubles are over and Xena’s off the market.

TAVERN WENCHES
(Waitresses feign loud sarcastic disappointment and hiss)
No! No!
We’ll never get a chance with her.
We wanted her first!

XENA
(stands up and protests)
I told you!
I like boys!

TAVERN WENCHES
(laugh hysterically)

CYRENE
(stands at the doorway and chuckles)
Deep fried or roasted on a spit?
Hurry and finish you two.
I have to set up before the customers come.

(disappears into the kitchen)


GABRIELLE
(hangs onto Xena’s tunic and clutches the baby doll)

XENA
(shakes head in disbelief and sits down)
You didn’t tell me the baby had a name!

GABRIELLE
Uh huh. Eve!
(hugs Xena)
I love you.

XENA
(rolls eyes and detaches Gabrielle)
Ugh.
Yeah.
Nice.
Cut it out.

GABRIELLE
(points at the sparkling pink vision appearing in the far corner of the room)
Look! I see Aphrodite!

XENA
(laughs and scruffs Gabrielle’s hair as she gets up from her chair)
Silly girl!
First it’s a dragon, now it’s Aphrodite!
I’m coming to help you in the kitchen Mom!

GABRIELLE
(giggles)
Hi! Aphrodite!

APHRODITE
(appearing unseen to adults in a glittering pink mist)
Hi! Baby Girl!
How’s my favorite little story teller?

GABRIELLE
Me and Eve went fishing and Xena caught a whale!

APHRODITE
Really?
Like, how cool is that!
Gonna show me your new play?

GABRIELLE
(jumps up on a chair)
I sing the song of mighty Dionysius!

DIONYSIUS
(materializes)
Someone page Me?
Darling Aphrodite! Try my new Merlot!
(hands Aphrodite a goblet)

APHRODITE
Dion! Hey Big Daddy!
(drinks and swishes in mouth)
Chewy, woodsy, plumy,
(swishes again thinking)
full bodied with a rich finish
It tastes like more!

DIONYSIUS
(refills Aphrodite’s goblet)
My thoughts exactly!
By the way, where’s my warrior?

APHRODITE
(points to the kitchen)
Washing dishes.

DIONYSIUS
Excellent.
Good for the upper torso.
And who’s this screaming little wood-sprite on the chair?

GABRIELLE
(shouts from the chair)
I am The Goddess of the Underworld and my dragon will burn the vineyard!
Oh nooooooooooooooooo!
Don’t worry townspeople!
Xena will save your grapes from a firey doom!

APHRODITE
My latest discovery - Gabrielle!
Dionysian Drama’s next superstar!
I’m her agent anytime you’re ready to book.

DIONYSIUS
Delightful.
How old is she?

APHRODITE
Seven.
Going on 25.
Audiences love precocious.

DIONYSIUS
(smiles)
Hmmm…yes I see that.
A little shocktress.
That’s always exciting.

XENA
(rolls eyes from the kitchen doorway)
Talking to herself again.
I wonder how she does all those crazy voices.

(shrugs and goes back into the kitchen)



FIN

Copyright & Disclaimer Information

Legal disclaimer: Xena & Gabrielle are the property of Ren Pics and MCA/Universal. The following story serves as a writing exercise and no more. I do not make any profit from it and it is to be used for amatueur fan fiction purposes only.

Notes from the Author: This story may not be reproduced without my express written permission. Thank you, dear reader, in advance for taking the time to consider this piece. I truly appreciate it.

The Rewrite

The Rewrite

© 8/2004 M.R.H. Guerriere aka Absinthe Angel 777 - disclaimer below



It was a dark and stormy night. Fate was fortunate to two adventurers named Xena and Gabrielle in that an unusual bout of summer rain had contained most of the locals and spoiled the plans of bandits for miles around.

Xena, a physically exhausted ex-warlord in process of reforming herself had decided to protect her ferocious army of two by taking shelter in an abandoned farm site a number of acres off the beaten path.

As if invisibly stalking one’s prey by walking in their footprints, following the fresh trail of recently pillaged and abandoned areas had produced comfortable sleeping arrangements, potable water and some rather delectable steak dinners.

The warrior is fast asleep, naked in the eaves of a large, empty workshop completely content in the knowledge that neither jackass nor brigand travels well in the mud. For as long as the rain keeps up, her enemies are as chained to their shelters as she is.

Next to the warrior, looking out through a tiny crack in the wall at the torrential rain is Gabrielle, an amateur bard. Her two major tasks over the past year and a half have been to cook for her leader and document her heroic exploits.

Preparing simple and satisfying cuisine for the both of them has never been a problem. However, putting Xena’s bizarre and often inexplicable adventures into believable epic form has been another task entirely.

This night the silver tongued bard has hit a massive roadblock in her literary commission. The project presented was relaying a tale that Gabrielle had not witnessed herself.

A number of years ago when Xena was a naïve and cocksure youth, she had battled an evil Queen who was uniquely proficient in the Arts of Death. The Queen had used all her wiles on the young, impressionable war captain and nearly did Xena in.

The retrospective warlord had been incredibly helpful over the course of the past 2 weeks by offering the word hungry bard every explosive, grotesque, fantastical and intimate particular. Even Gabrielle’s inner muse often found herself running to vomit or blushing bright while taking notes.

Gabrielle’s awful conclusion this quiet night was that the problem lie not in the narrative, for there certainly was no lack of twists and turns, but in Gabrielle herself. She was highly agitated and distracted causing her imagination to drift far away from the prescribed story and towards plot lines which had no logical rationale.

Naturally Gabrielle blamed this predicament on the mocking and tempestuous whims of greedy Calliope to add even more drama than already existed by inserting a third, jealous and attractive, young love interest who looked remarkably like the author.

Perspiration poured down Gabrielle’s face. Though she had successfully kept her eyes from Xena’s nighttime nudity it was clear the commander was on to something quite practical. The writer’s open-weave shift needed to come off. She tore at her clothing and allowed cooler air to embrace and soothe her over-heated skin.

The rustling of material had not awoken the warrior who remained flat on her back like a cat who had just eaten the largest mouse in the known world. Xena had learned to sleep through the incessant scritching, scratching noises of the bard’s feather quill and this was not nearly as disturbing.

The small, blonde weaver of wonder heaved a sigh halved of relief and impending doom.

Insomnia lingered and the ink merely laughed at her.

The real sin of this past month was that she had fallen in love with her main character and could no longer objectively write about her.

Damn her muse!

Every sensuous curve, every lingering look, every terrifying creak of well-worn leather had been captured in tempting detail as to make the bard shake to read her own words.

There would be no escaping Xena’s inevitable inquiry. The truth was that the warrior was like a small child when it came to bedtime stories. This was a solemn and vulnerable secret they both shared. The dark-haired swordswoman never tired of fairy tales, particularly those which exulted her own death-defying feats. Eventually, the captain of this enterprise would demand to hear the story.

Resigning to her self-imposed deadline, a cooler, unclad Gabrielle lay down next to her outlaw companion and began to reread the tales to herself in a whisper. Xena maintained a peaceful snore through the quiet and predictable bardic introductions.

The drama intensifies and Gabrielle’s words seem to halt and stutter as she stumbles through the scene where the evil Queen seduces Xena into her chamber and pulls Xena’s face to her voluptuous and ample breasts.

Feeling a strange and delicious heat near her face and hearing one of her favorite words repeated over and over again, Xena opens her eyes slowly to discover her petite companion’s soft breasts expanding and contracting with every heart-pounding phrase.

Gabrielle continues with her verbal experiments and a half-conscious Xena becomes swept away with the spirit of the story. The warrior closes her eyes again to the harmony of the exquisite prose and in a half dream begins to nuzzle and suck one of Gabrielle’s unguarded nipples.

"Um, Xena. What, what are you doing?" Gabrielle looked down at her protector in confused but aroused horror.

"Evil Queen. Trying to help you make it real." the pawing warrior mumbled under the light, woven blanket.

"Oh! That’s very authentic, Xena." Gabrielle panted.

"That’s what I’d do. More?"

"Wonderful counter attack!" Gabrielle’s face turned as pink as petals of a new rose while Xena’s lips continued to toy with her the tip of her nipple. Xena’s penetrating eyes remained closed as she smiled a wicked, sleepy grin.

"Xena! I think, I think I can totally picture the scene now! Thank you! Thank you very much! I believe I can handle it from here! You’re very, very helpful!

Xena stops suckling and smiles falling back into a deep sleep, next to Gabrielle’s heartbeat.

Gabrielle’s face is entirely flushed. Indeed she found herself enjoying Xena’s rendition of her story way too much. Wiping the nervous droplets from her face, the young bard leans back on the soft bedding to regroup her thoughts.

Amazingly, the fleeting seconds of role play worked. Gabrielle’s inner voice chuckled and reminded her that there is some trouble with the other tales. Perhaps Xena’s thespian skills can add some nuance.

"Xena, I was talking to a very experienced bard in the last town we were in and he told me that as writer, I can’t be married to anything I write. Particularly a live, stand-up bard like myself because as I tell the story I’ll see what the crowd wants and I should edit and rewrite until the story is just perfect. I should strive for the audience to be begging for more or get the reader so captivated they can’t put the scroll down."

"Makes sense." Xena mumbled, well acquainted with her comrade in arms endless night time chatter. The warrior had developed a talent for answering semi-coherently in her sleep.

"So, in your evil past, you must have had sex with many women."

"A thousand…" Xena yawned.

" A thousand?" Gabrielle’s eyes shot open and she swallowed hard.

"2 or 3 girls a night. Depends. Battle lust and all. Many, many battles. I was a bad girl. Really, really nasty. Deranged. Obsessed." Xena was hiding another mischievous oncoming smile.

"Exactly my point. Those women weren’t all evil queens now were they?"

"No. Nothing special. Just average girls."

"Ordinary….farm girls."

"Maybe bar maids."

"From villages."

"Yeah…"

"Fishing and farming villages?"

"Could be." Xena curled in closer.

"Like Potidaia."

"Very much like Potidaia, Gabrielle."

"Well I was re-reading the story of Gabrielle of Potidaia and…."

"And?" Xena groaned softly.

"It’s really quite boring, Xena."

"No. It’s charming and sweet. And you’re not average, Gabrielle.

"Charming and sweet? Charming and sweet isn’t going to get me any dinars with a hard drinking audience. Xena, the story is just too weird. It’s not logical! Nobody’s going to believe it! Listen to the plot line."

"Evil warlord Xena meets Hercules and is redeemed practically overnight. Goes to a town called Potidaia and attempts to save the women from slavery. This town is much like all the other towns she’s pillaged.

She saves the women from slavery and a nubile, innocent farm girl named Gabrielle, much like the hundreds of other women that the evil warlord Xena has captured and ravaged, in a very unpredictable turn of events, throws herself at the former evil warlord’s feet begging to go with the her, and the two of them travel for nearly two years without so much as…"

"capturing…ravaging…mmmm …good times." Xena grinned and nuzzled herself sleepily into the scent of Gabrielle’s skin.

"You’re not listening to me."

I’m here. I’m right here." pushing her nose more into the heat and incense of her traveling companion’s body. "You smell good."

"So, I think that I need to rewrite Gabrielle’s story a bit. Perhaps Xena might ultimately come to the side of peace. But in the meantime, I need more pathos! More drama!

Here’s Xena, so close to her personal redemption, all those nights alone with a beautiful, blonde, young farm girl after the tension of so many fights with so many robbers and warlords. you would think……"

"That Warlord Xena would slip? Mmmhmm. Logical." a snuggling and contented Xena confirmed.

"What I’m trying to say Xena, is you were so helpful with the evil queen scenario that perhaps you could help me with the technicalities of this other scene"

"For the sake of the story."

"Right."

"I’m sleepy but I’ll try my best."

Gabrielle pulled a wine skin out of a bag. Xena cocked an eyebrow. "Hmm. Where did you get that?"

"In the rewritten story you’re drunk and I was trying to get myself drunk in order to be you. I wanted to get inside your head, but I couldn’t do it."

Xena sits up a bit, takes the wineskin out of Gabrielle’s hands, aims a seductive stream of mead and drains the half the contents into her own mouth.

"Ahhhhhhhhh. Good kick to it. All right! I’m ready to work for the story even though we don’t know if the story will work! Where do we begin?" Xena lays back down again in her original position awaiting Gabrielle’s alternative plot line.

"Xena Formerly Evil Sort of Reformed Warlord comes into Potidaia, has a fight with the other warlord and sets the girls free from being slaves BUT instead of Gabrielle throwing herself at Xena, Xena demands her price, which is one girl.

It just so happens it was a girl named Gabrielle who coincidentally wanted to leave as she was supposed to be married to this guy named Perdicus."

"Who she wound up marrying anyway." Xena smirked.

"Anyway!" Gabrielle gave a grumbling side glance and forced the subject. "Moving right along! "

"Xena Formerly Evil Sort of Reformed Warlord takes the girl Gabrielle as a tribute. She allows Gabrielle to become her squire and protégé. The great warlord Xena is rationalizing in her head what she should do morally with her companion. She fights with herself constantly but to no avail.

Alas, Xena’s ethics are profoundly twisted. She can only avert her passions for so long. After a while She must take this innocent young girl."

" You don’t need me for this scene. Just think of a time Perdicus took you hard."

Gabrielle was silent for a moment, then cleared her throat and repeated with extended clarification.

"Xena fights with herself constantly. One night after nearly a year and a half of major adventures involving a temporary separation from Gabrielle and a tragic reunion which bonds them together much more than before,

Xena gets irresponsibly drunk and finally justifies ravaging and deflowering this totally loyal, unsuspecting, pure, inexperienced, absolutely innocent, beautiful, young girl."

"Gabrielle, just use your imag…"

A long silence overcame Xena as she laid with her eyes closed in the darkness.

"Gabrielle…"

"Yes Xena? " the bard answered meekly in the night, biting her lip and hugging herself.

"Gabrielle you..."

"Xena?"

"Gabrielle."

"He snuck up on me and I’m sure he was teasing but…"

"But?"

"...the kitchen knife was there and"

"And?…"

"He only bled a little and we laughed but then he suprised me again. He was teasing me, trying to kiss me. It was very romantic in it’s own childish way. I don’t know Xena, I’m rather alert after being out on the road with you. Really. it was an accident. My reflexes just took over. I couldn’t help it."

"And?"

"There was also the little part about the broomstick. Ha! The broomstick…Well! Silly, foolish, love struck Perdicus! He came into the bedroom when I wasn’t expecting and I hit him square in the head with a normal looking broom!

He was unconscious for about an hour and we laughed. He was extremely dizzy for a very long time afterwards but we laughed and laughed! What a comedy of errors! It was so funny at the time! Here we were newlyweds and then the ummm…."

"I see."

A pit of silence ensued interrupted only by the patter of rain.

"You mentioned deflowering. You are..."

"I really need help with this story Xena. I can’t do it on my own."

Xena squeezed her own forehead. She felt the blood coursing through her veins and wiped her face with her hand. She exhaled very slowly through pursed lips until her head went black.

Taking another mighty swig from the wineskin, the warrior centered herself. Grabbing Gabrielle by the arms, the bard’s naked body was positioned supine in front of where the warrior now knelt. Xena loomed over the young bard with staring, shallow breaths.

"The Prize of Potidaia" Xena rubbed her hands together in slow greed, "My little ransom, the town sacrifice. Well, aren’t you a pretty sight."

"Xena…have you ever acted before? You’re really very convincing." Gabrielle gulped out a weak attempt at humor.

"Let’s see just how pretty you are." Xena grabbed Gabrielle by the bottom, quickly spreading her legs apart, placing her feet up by Xena’s shoulders and exposing her sex.

Gabrielle gasped and closed her eyes.

Leering, Xena the Warlord inspected the aroused pink petals shining with wetness.
"Slick with fear" She snarled running a finger over Gabrielle’s sex tasting the nectar lasciviously. "Just the way I like it."

Gabrielle opened her eyes again and froze as if in the gaze of a flared out cobra. Xena struck and threw her body, pinning Gabrielle down and assaulting her lips in a fiery kiss. Tongues dancing like a serpentine bacchanal, Gabrielle’s body could do nothing but respond by locking her feet around the middle of Xena’s muscular torso and hanging on.

The onslaught of Xena’s passion equaled her strength in war. A battery of sensation began at Gabrielle’s pulsing neck. Like a river run wild the bard looked down to see waves of Xena’s obsidian locks thrashing over the swell of her breasts, the vortex of her belly. Touching Gabrielle’s hips, Xena’s fingertips became an incessant carnal maelstrom claiming and crashing.

Gabrielle shivered and drowned willfully in her own desire allowing Xena to take her deeper.

Xena lingered over Gabrielle’s sex. Long, black tresses whipping and teasing Gabrielle’s thighs. Gabrielle dug her fingers into Xena’s hair and clawed at her neck, pushing Xena’s head downwards towards her aching center.

Xena tasted victory. Driving the tip of her tongue into the heat, she realized the muscles were as tight as Egyptian blocks of stone. Past this door things between them would never be the same. Xena flickered a snakelike warning.

Gabrielle looked up to see two sapphires laughing in the night, then blackness and pressure….intense, excruciatingly slow pressure intensifying inside her….invading her deepest core, a writhing muscle pulsated by the hot breath that was Xena.

"Virgin…." Xena growled.

"Yes." Gabrielle hissed.

"Mine."

"Yours. "

"Totally Mine!" Xena howled in triumph, plunging her tongue in deep and fast as if she were going to devour Gabrielle whole.

Gabrielle shuddered and spasmed. Xena grabbed one of the girl’s flailing hands and put it back into the forest of her black mane. The bard cried out in silent release, tears streaming from her eyes.

As the girl inhaled her breath of transformation, she felt her conqueror’s new demands and submissively allowed Xena total entrance. The warrior seized the girl’s innocence with precision attacks.

Xena’s breath in Gabrielle’s neck, panting, thrusting again and again at her receptive center. So deep Gabrielle fell into the whirlpool of her own mind and swirled into oblivion. Ecstasy and eclipse. Xena rode the storm and drove the ship smashing into the bard’s own siren song.

Together they washed ashore.

The coo of a dove gently opened Gabrielle’s eyes but could not remove the weight of the warrior who lay on top of her. Xena had never been closer but the bard smiled realizing her warlord’s dreams were now oceans away.

Gabrielle kissed her new lover’s face and returned to slumber, pleased to lay deliciously trapped at the hands of a master performer, as her captive audience.

FIN

Copyright & Disclaimer Information

Legal disclaimer: Xena & Gabrielle are the property of Ren Pics and MCA/Universal. The following story serves as a writing exercise and no more. I do not make any profit from it and it is to be used for amatueur fan fiction purposes only.

Notes from the Author: This story may not be reproduced without my express written permission. Thank you, dear reader, in advance for taking the time to consider this piece. I truly appreciate it. Enjoy - MRHG