December 23, 1959 - 13 East 81st Street, New York City
© M.R.H. Guerriere 12/2005 aka Absinthe Angel 777 - disclaimer below
"Janice honey!" Melinda Pappas piped the cheery announcement which rang through the large, festively decorated apartment. "There’s somebody here to see you!". She gracefully walked past the inner doorways each festooned in holly garland. Drawing her thumbs underneath her silky black hair she readjusted the tortoise shell clip which held it back and smoothed out the bunching of her crimson cashmere sweater.
Not hearing a response, she leaned her long, sensuous frame around the hallway door and called sweetly towards a small, smoky, half-lit room. "Jan?"
Wearing nothing but a rumpled, oversized men’s light blue pajama top, government issue olive drab boxer shorts and biting a short cherrito, Janice Covington stormed past Melinda making a bee-line towards the entrance. She grumbled through a tousled mop of blonde hair as she eyed the slim male figure begging passage and slammed the door in his face.
"Hi Jan! Merry Christmas!" greeted the muffled, stranded voice from outside the hallway.
"Janice! You didn’t!" Melinda admonished the shorter, headstrong woman who made a return trip to her inner sanctum . Melinda stopped taking dishes down from the cupboard and ran to open the door.
"Henry! Merry Christmas! Please do come in!" Melinda kissed the cheek of the tall, gangly teenager who patiently waited in the hall, almost knocking off his horn-rimmed glasses. "It’s so good to see you!"
"Hey Melinda! Merry Merry Christmas!" The boy scratched the side of his Vitalised head and blushed at the slight attentions from the tall, gorgeous brunette. He hurried to pick up his two battered tan suitcases and large leather briefcase. "Thanks! Boy, the place looks swell, Melinda!"
Melinda waved her long fingers in dismissal. "Oh, you know how I love to decorate. Here, let me take your coat! Isn’t the snow so pretty on Fifth Avenue?" She took the boy’s thick herringbone coat and hung on a heavy, wooden hanger. As she twisted the glass knob and shut the door to the outer stairwell, she asked, "Did you have something to eat or come here straight from the train station?"
"I came here right away. My train got in at 5:35."
"Well, you’re just in time for supper. You make yourself comfortable. Excuse me just a moment, darlin’. I’ll be right back."
The boy smiled and nodded, sat in a comfortable chair and looked out the large window at the falling snow.
Melinda went through the kitchen following the strains of John Coltrane to a small, dark room packed wall to wall with books. She closed the door behind her, walked over to the radio and turned off the music. "Janice Covington, you are the rudest thing on earth. That is your baby brother out there who came all the way from Pennsylvania and the very least you could do is wish him a Merry Christmas!"
"Half brother." The stubborn, muscular blonde grunted and took a drink of Old Rip Van Winkle bourbon never looking up from what she was reading. "And I never asked for him or any of the other bastards my father left."
"Hmpf!" Melinda pursed her lips, put her hands on her hips and thought a moment.
Melinda turned in place slowly as if to leave then came back at Janice. Manicured fingers took the rocks glass out of Janice’s hand before the drink once again reached her lips and set it firmly down on the mahogany coffee table. Melinda draped herself on the arm of the heavy, leather upholstered chair and into the other woman’s lap. Red nails slowly passed through Janice’s hair and crimson lips overtook hers in a slow, seductive embrace. "You never asked for me either. But aren’t you glad you found me?"
Janice took in the deep, heady scent of Melinda’s sultry perfume and attempted to steel herself. "Play nice, Mel."
"I never play nice." Removing black cats eye glasses Melinda opened her bright, blue eyes wide and begged, "For me? Let him stay for me and I promise that Santa’s prettiest helper will come to you dressed in red satin lingerie."
Janice grew quiet, licked her lips and thought a moment. "Will she play games with silk scarves and candy canes?"
"She will!" Melinda dug her nails into Janice’s chest. "I guarantee she loves to play games like that!".
"Deal. But he stays out of my way."
"Agreed." Melinda kissed Janice on the cheek and sauntered to the door slowly, looking back with a victorious smile. "Janice, put on some real clothes."
"Why?"
"So I can take them off later, silly. Dinner will be ready in ten minutes."
Victorious once again, Melinda checked her appearance quickly in the full length bathroom mirror and made her way back towards her cooking.
"Henry, how’s your mother?", Melinda checked on the roast in the oven and called out to the boy in the living room. "She does know you’re here, doesn’t she?"
Henry leaned against the wall in a crisp, white, button-down, short-sleeve shirt. "I told" the young man’s voice changed pitch three times within the two words he spoke. He cleared his throat again and braced himself in the kitchen doorway. "I told her I was coming here. She was busy with her new boyfriend. I’m not sure if she really paid much attention."
Melinda cocked her red holiday oven mitt to her hip. "Got another beau, has she?"
Henry scratched his head again. "I told her you were going to show me around Columbia University. Columbia!" I can’t believe it! Melinda! Oh wait!"
He raced into the other room and came back with his briefcase, dumping the contents of a cloth bag onto the kitchen table. "I’ve got something really neat to show you!".
"Well, you aren’t accepted yet. But with your grades, we can sure try." The roast sizzled as it came out of the oven. "Now isn’t that a tasty little dish? Mmmm……"
Janice entered the kitchen in loose dungarees and a white men’s button down shirt with rolled up sleeves. She took a fag from a pack of Old Gold cigarettes lying on the table, flicked open a battered engraved Zippo, lit the end and drew on the tobacco deeply . "Hey, don’t flirt with me in front of the kid."
Smoke curled from her mouth as frantic eyes searched the table for a coffee cup. " Mel, you wanna stop standing around and make me some joe?"
Transfixed on a multitude of old coins he was pouring from a sack, Henry ignored the banter and carefully laid out the metal rounds in neat rows on the kitchen table.
"Well, if that isn’t the snazziest coin collection in the world!" Melinda exclaimed as she measured out the ground coffee and put it in the steel percolator.
"Yeah!" Henry proudly surveyed his cache of primitive money. "I sold my stamp collection and started with coins!"
Janice furrowed her brows and made a delicate reach for the dullest slug in the lot.
"I have some coins from ancient Greece I can give you." Melinda offered "Janice and I dug them up when we were in Macedonia. But they’re so common. I don’t think they’re worth anything. Right Jan?"
Janice ignored the question and turned the coin in her fingers around slowly. "What college does he want to go to?"
"Columbia!" Henry offered. "Gee, I’d really appreciate those coins from ancient Macedonia! That would be so boss!"
"And how much does it cost?" Janice continued.
"Remember the museum staff dinner I went to a few weeks ago? I was introduced to a charming handsome professor from Sarah Lawrence University, who happened to be a Columbia alumnus. He was so nice. Not at all like the average Northern academics I’ve encountered." Melinda popped open the small white oven door a few inches to check the progress of her roast, "He offered to give me a lovely letter of introduction for Henry! Knew everything imaginable about American Indians! So tall, what a smile! If only…"
"Yeah, if only." Janice rolled her eyes masking jealousy. "Melinda, I asked you a question. How much does it cost?"
"I’m sorry, dumpling, was I ramblin’ on?" Melinda pouted with innocent batted eyes.
"You were." Janice warned with stern sarcasm. "Are you gonna tell me now?"
"4 years at Columbia?" Setting the roast lamb into the middle of the table alongside large dishes of mashed potatoes and green beans, Melinda sighed. "Realistically? A small fortune. But with his grades and the letter of introduction, I was hoping to get him in."
"He’s going." Janice snapped the coin face up in the middle of the table like a Las Vegas royal flush.
"What?" Henry gasped.
"You’re going." Janice looked at her brother expressionless and then to Melinda. She cut her meat. "I don’t know where the fuck…"
Melinda picked up the gravy boat, sighed and shook her head at the cuss words.
Janice smiled knowing she was annoying Melinda. "Or how the fuck you got this coin but it will pay for 4 years easy."
"I" Henry started to explain but Janice put her hand up in front of his face.
"Welcome to the Covington clan, Hank. We don’t reveal our sources. We’ll sell it in the morning. Now eat your dinner."
"Whoooo hooooooooo!" Henry cheered and ran out into the living room jumping and screaming. "I’m going to Columbia! This is crazy man! I’ll be in Fat City! Whoooooooooooooo wheeeeeee! "
Melinda smiled and from under the table secretly ran a toe from Janice’s ankle up to her knee and teased her inner thigh.
"Can I have some milk, Melinda, dearest pal?" Janice’s eyes popped out of head with sexual frustration as she jiggled her glass.
"You’ll get more than that." Melinda poured the milk into the glass, never unlocking eyes with Janice. "You old softie. Merry Christmas."
Janice squinted at the compliment, "Shut up."
"Make me." Melinda’s eyes smoldered a challenge.
"I might."
Melinda kept the eye contact for a few enflamed seconds and changed the subject. "Thank you. For your brother I mean."
"Kid’s a fucking genius and he’s slick. I didn’t do anything."
Henry stood at the doorway, panting and breathless from screaming.
"Calm down Hank. We didn’t sell it yet." Janice reminded the excitable boy.
"Come and eat, Henry" Melinda pointed to the chair "A college freshman needs his strength."
"But you will, Jan, right?" Henry pleaded.
"You will sell the coin like you promised, won’t you Janice?" Melinda placed her hand on Janice’s, squeezed it tight and stared across the table.
"I’ll find a buyer. I always do. I’m a Covington."
Janice stared at the dirty coin again and chuckled with thoughts of the neat little profit she was about to make. "Merry Christmas, indeed."
To be continued…..
Copyright and Disclaimer Information
© M. R.H. Guerriere 12/2005 aka Absinthe Angel 777
Legal disclaimer: Mel & Janice are the property of Ren Pics and MCA/Universal - who knows?. The other character is mine.This is amateur fan fiction only. This story may not be reproduced without my express written permission. Thank you, dear reader, in advance for taking the time to consider this piece. Happy Holidays! - MRHG
Showing posts with label alt Xena. Show all posts
Showing posts with label alt Xena. Show all posts
Saturday, February 6, 2010
Who Put the Dinar in You?
Who Put the Dinar in You?
© Absinthe Angel 777 aka M. R.H. Guerriere 1/1/2005 - disclaimer below
INT: A BEDROOM IN AMPHIPOLIS
NIGHT
Two girls are sleeping, one approximately 18, the other approximately 7 or 8
GABRIELLE
(gasp)
XENA
shhhh…what?
GABRIELLE
The big dragon, look!
XENA
(opens one eye)
That’s a tree. Shadows from a tree.
GABRIELLE
Dragon. (makes face at shadow)
XENA
shhh!
GABRIELLE
Am I gonna live here?
XENA
Sometimes.
Hopefully in your own room.
Go to sleep.
GABRIELLE
Why?
I live with my Mommy then I come here, with your Mommy.
Why?
XENA
(sighs)
Because one day, when you’re a big girl you and and Lyceus are going to get married.
And you’re going to live here with my Mommy.
I told you this a million times already.
Sleep.
GABRIELLE
(shakes head)
No.
XENA
What do you mean "no"?
Don’t tell me "no".
GABRIELLE
You don’t know anything Xena!
Lyceus lives with my Daddy at my house.
XENA
Because your Daddy is teaching him to put shoes on horses.
Just like he taught me.
We’ll see Lyceus again soon.
You’ll see him all the time when you get older.
He’s going to be a blacksmith, you’re going to marry him and you’ll live here.
End of story.
GABRIELLE
(shakes head)
No. Nuh uh. Nope.
XENA
(rubs her eyes)
Sleep Gabrielle.
Please sleep.
I have to get up and fish in a few hours.
GABRIELLE
I seeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee a dragon outside.
It’s red. He’s very pretty. He lives in the trees.
Do you know all the names of the trees?
We have an olive tree and a lemon tree and a cypress tree.
I climbed up them and I saw all the leaves.
There’s a big bird who’s head spins around in the tree.
Did you see the spinny head bird in the tree?
XENA
(groans and pulls her own hair)
It’s an owl. Please, I beg of you.
Before I start to cry.
Go to sleep.
GABRIELLE
(pulls a piece of cloth out from under the bed and opens it up)
And suprise!
I have my leaf collection right here!
See?
This leaf is a green leaf. It is very big and…
XENA
(small tantrum)
Gabrielle! Sleep!
We don’t need to see the leaf collection.
It’s the middle of the night.
The leaves go away.
Now.
GABRIELLE
(puffs up her face and pouts as she puts leaves away)
XENA
(faces away and tries to resume sleeping)
Thank you.
GABRIELLE
Xena?
XENA
whuttttttttt?
GABRIELLE
(shoves doll in Xena’s face)
You didn’t kiss our baby goodnight.
XENA
(rolls eyes, sighs in frustration, kisses doll)
Goodnight baby.
Tell your Mommy to go to sleep.
GABRIELLE
(settles down)
Xena?
XENA
Yesssssssss???????
GABRIELLE
It’s OK. I’m not scared.
I’m gonna live here with you when we get married.
XENA
When WE?
*ugh*…yes yes
Anything you say.
Goodnight Gabrielle.
Close your eyes Gabrielle.
GABRIELLE
Night night.
(bursts into song and bounces around)
Oh! We’re gonna fish fish fish tommorow! FISHIE! FISHIE!
XENA
(covers Gabrielle’s mouth)
Shhhhhhhhhh! Goodnight.
GABRIELLE
(giggles and bites Xena’s fingers. Closes eyes, pretends to snore)
Zzzzzzzzzzz! fishie Zzzzzzzzzzzz! fish fish fish ZZZZZZZZz……
XENA
(shakes finger out, lays down, nerves rattled, mumbles and collapses into sleep)
Yow! You bit me!
Oh Goddess. Help.
Why does Mom stick me with you?
She’s crucifying me for something.
What did I do to deserve this?
EXT. - EARLY MORNING - QUIET SPOT BY A RIVER
Xena & Gabrielle laying on a blanket in front of 3 fishing poles with tiny bells and submerged traps.
Xena is sleeping in the morning sunlight.
GABRIELLE
(into Xena’s ear)
ding! ding!
Bells are ringing.
Fishie’s nibbling.
XENA
(opens eyes and scrambles towards straining fishing pole)
Don’t bite me again!
Whoa! Yeah! Yeah!
Look at this!
I’ve got a huge one!
GABRIELLE
(talks to doll)
She’s caught a whale!
A big whale and Poseidon says "Xena! Ha ha ha! You’ve caught my whale!"
Look baby! Look! See the big fish?
XENA
(smiles and reels in a fish)
Poseidon said that to you, huh?
Here’s a whale for your dolly.
(throws wiggling fish in basket)
GABRIELLE
(looks in basket with doll)
Lots of them.
Fishie! We’re gonna eat you! Ha ha ha!
XENA
Yeah, lots of them.
(points out other fishermen in distance)
Look at those losers.
They only have to catch two maybe three fish.
They can’t even catch that.
I have to catch 20…..25…30 fish for the tavern before I can go home.
Pfffft…I’m much better than them.
And I’m here before any of them. Fishermen.
Ha…I’m ten times the fisherman any of them are.
GABRIELLE
Losers!
XENA
(laughing)
Hey! Shhhhhh! Don’t you say that!
Only I can say that!
Don’t repeat everything I say, you little monkey!
You’ll get me in trouble!
GABRIELLE
(clasps hands together, gives Xena an adoring look)
Well I love you!
XENA
(rolls eyes and rips up a piece of grass)
Yeah. Great. You love me.
Like I really need that!
I need a good-looking boyfriend is what I need.
Not these jerks that are around here.
(lays down on blanket)
Hey, If you love me so much can you watch the fishing poles again while I get some sleep?
Being that you didn’t let me sleep last night Miss Talk Talk Talk?
GABRIELLE
(mimicking Xena the night before covers Xena’s mouth)
Xena! Shhhh! Sleep! Goodnight Xena! Shhhhh!
(Xena smiles and closes eyes, drifts off)
(Gabrielle watches fishing poles, and puts her toes in the wildflowers but sees a woman staring at them in the distance)
GABRIELLE
Xena..
XENA
Shhh. I’m sleeping.
You love me, right?
If you love me so much, watch the fishing poles.
GABRIELLE
Xena..
(woman comes closer and stares)
WOMAN
(throws dirt at Xena)
You filthy pig!
XENA
(bolts upright, jumps in front of Gabrielle to protect her)
What? What?
What did I do?
WOMAN
You dress like a boy!
You’re filthy!
You’re lazy!
You should be weaving with the other women!
You’re not marrying my son!
No wonder nobody wants you!
I’m going to talk to your whore of a mother!
(woman storms away)
XENA
(jumps up rattled and screams)
I don’t weave!
I fish!
Go ahead!
I’m working for my mother!
Don’t you call my mother….
(kicks dirt in frustration)
I don’t want to marry your ugly son anyway!
You stupid bitch!
And I catch more fish than your damn husband!
And and - stay away from my baby!
(makes horned finger symbol)
All of you!
I curse you!
(throws a rock across the river)
Scaring us like that..
Hades….
(Xena pulls in fish from nets with tears staining face)
GABRIELLE
Xena? Don’t cry.
XENA
(wipes face and breathes hard)
I’m not crying.
I just - you wouldn’t understand, Gabrielle.
Are you OK?
She’s very mean.
(strokes Gabrielle’s hair, Gabrielle nods)
C’mon, let’s go home now.
We have enough fish.
Let’s get out of here.
Crazy woman.
(collects things)
GABRIELLE
(Xena shoulders the basket, balances her fishing poles and offers Gabrielle her hand,
Gabrielle grabs Xena’s hand and starts to walk down trail)
You caught a whale!
XENA
(still shaken, sniffing away the last tear, pulls Gabrielle close)
Yeah..I did.
Don’t worry.
Everything will be all right.
INT. CYRENE’S TAVERN
(Xena puts down baskets of fish,
Gabrielle runs into middle of empty tavern and starts to sing out loud and dance across the floor)
CYRENE
Your breakfast is on the table.
Catch anything today?
XENA
The usual.
More than any man in town.
More than 5 men in town.
(sits down to eat)
CYRENE
Xena. I hate to bring this up again but -
XENA
(frustrated)
I’m bored with it Mom.
I’m bored with the whole thing.
You don’t have to say anything.
CYRENE
But Xena.
XENA
She came here. I know.
She yelled at me down by the river.
I don’t care.
I hate her.
I hate her stupid son too.
CYRENE
Xena, this is the sixth boy.
XENA
(slams fist on the table)
I was fishing.
You need your fish, right?
Am I supposed to sit around like the other women?
What are we supposed to do?
Not get any fish?
Not have any food for the tavern?
You run a business, Mom.
CYRENE
Not curse at her.
XENA
She called me a filthy pig!
In front of Gabrielle too.
Scared her half to death.
She called you a…
CYRENE
(raises an eyebrow)
Oh she did?
She won’t be talking long.
I’ll deal with her myself.
XENA
Gabrielle!
Who put the dinar in you?
Eat your breakfast.
CYRENE
You never yell at Gabrielle.
That woman didn’t hit you, did she?
XENA
Gabrielle! I said…….NOW!
No Mom. We’re OK.
GABRIELLE
(stomps through tavern and sticks out tongue, sits next to Xena, wiggles in her seat and eats)
CYRENE
(laughs)
What an actress she’s turning out to be.
I think you interrupted her show.
I’m sorry Lyceus isn’t here to see this.
XENA
(eats)
Oh you mean so he and Gabrielle can kick and bite each other to death?
So they can both be in my hair?
I can’t handle the two of them together.
Yeah. I’m so sorry he’s not here so I can get stuck baby sitting two kids not one!
CYRENE
They’ll grow out of it.
He’s a big boy now. He’s almost 13.
XENA
You’re killing me, Mom.
She never shut up last night.
GABRIELLE
Go - to - sleep Gabrielle! Shhhhhh!
CYRENE
(strokes Gabrielle’s hair)
Don’t be so hard on her, Xena.
She’s a good girl and very intelligent.
Just a little creative.
XENA
Creative?
Is that what you call it?
I don’t know what she’s talking about half the time.
Half of it makes sense, half of it’s gibberish.
Except that she’s waking me up every five minutes telling me
there’s a dragon outside my window!
GABRIELLE
There is!
XENA
There is not!
GABRIELLE
(holds doll up)
My baby saw it!
XENA
You see? You see Mom?
I can’t argue with her!
I can’t win.
CYRENE
All right. Maybe Gabrielle can stay with me all day.
She can dance and sing and tell stories about her own little world.
And you can fish by yourself.
You can have your space.
And do whatever it is you want to do.
(Three seductively clad women enter the tavern and slowly make their way toward the kitchen.)
TAVERN WENCH #1
(yawns and shuffles past Cyrene)
I hope that regiment gets here soon.
I could use the extra dinars.
TAVERN WENCH #2
(pulls Xena’s hair as she passes)
Mornin’ Cyrene!
Hi Xeeenna.
(stops and pulls at Xena’s cutoff tunic)
Nice muscles.
TAVERN WENCH #3
Hi Cyrene!
(purses lips and gives a teasing wink to Xena as she walks into kitchen)
Helloooooooooo Xena!
Did you get taller since yesterday?
XENA
(blushes bright red, clears throat and continues conversation)
Well…I - I don’t know, Mom.
CYRENE
(eyes her incoming staff with a smile, then continues with Xena)
Gabrielle will be right by my side all day and all night.
You won’t have to argue with her.
XENA
But Mom…
CYRENE
And she won’t win all the time.
XENA
It’s not that - it’s
CYRENE
And she won’t bother you with her endless stories.
XENA
but..
CYRENE
About dragons.
XENA
Um..
CYRENE
And all the other things that annoy you.
XENA
Um Mom
CYRENE
Come on Gabrielle.
Do you want to learn how to be a waitress?
XENA
No! Mom!
CYRENE
Yes, dear?
XENA
(nervous)
I didn’t mean it.
I’ll take her.
CYRENE
You sure?
I can teach her how to wait tables with the other girls.
XENA
No. no. no.
I don’t want her to be a waitress. Really!
I’ve got her.
CYRENE
How to flirt for a tip!
She might teach you a few things!
XENA
Mom!
CYRENE
I’m sure we could make up a cute little dress.
XENA
No! NO!
She doesn’t need to learn that stuff!
She’s fine. Her stories are fine!
(moves seat closer to Gabrielle, puts arms around her protectively and shoos Cyrene away)
Go away now Mom!
I’ve got her.
CYRENE
(kisses Xena on the head)
You’re the best, sweetheart.
Too bad she can’t marry you.
XENA
(groans)
Oh no! Don’t start! Please don’t say that.
GABRIELLE
(shows doll to Cyrene)
This is our baby, Eve.
XENA
(hides face in hand)
Oh gods no…..
CYRENE
Really?
(looks at the doll)
What a beautiful baby.
Eve, is it?
Who’s baby is this, Gabrielle?
GABRIELLE
Our baby!
We’re gonna live here when me and Xena get married.
CYRENE
(winks at Gabrielle)
That’s wonderful!
You’re going to live here when you and Xena get married?
I’m glad someone nice is finally going to take care of my Xena!
(to Xena)
At least it’s someone who can handle you!
Hmm…she doesn’t want Lyceus.
Now will I have to give back her dowry?
(pokes Xena’s sides)
You really should tell me before you steal your own brother’s wife and have kids.
A grandmother is always the last to know!
(calls out to tavern wenches)
Girls! Gabrielle’s going to marry Xena.
My troubles are over and Xena’s off the market.
TAVERN WENCHES
(Waitresses feign loud sarcastic disappointment and hiss)
No! No!
We’ll never get a chance with her.
We wanted her first!
XENA
(stands up and protests)
I told you!
I like boys!
TAVERN WENCHES
(laugh hysterically)
CYRENE
(stands at the doorway and chuckles)
Deep fried or roasted on a spit?
Hurry and finish you two.
I have to set up before the customers come.
(disappears into the kitchen)
GABRIELLE
(hangs onto Xena’s tunic and clutches the baby doll)
XENA
(shakes head in disbelief and sits down)
You didn’t tell me the baby had a name!
GABRIELLE
Uh huh. Eve!
(hugs Xena)
I love you.
XENA
(rolls eyes and detaches Gabrielle)
Ugh.
Yeah.
Nice.
Cut it out.
GABRIELLE
(points at the sparkling pink vision appearing in the far corner of the room)
Look! I see Aphrodite!
XENA
(laughs and scruffs Gabrielle’s hair as she gets up from her chair)
Silly girl!
First it’s a dragon, now it’s Aphrodite!
I’m coming to help you in the kitchen Mom!
GABRIELLE
(giggles)
Hi! Aphrodite!
APHRODITE
(appearing unseen to adults in a glittering pink mist)
Hi! Baby Girl!
How’s my favorite little story teller?
GABRIELLE
Me and Eve went fishing and Xena caught a whale!
APHRODITE
Really?
Like, how cool is that!
Gonna show me your new play?
GABRIELLE
(jumps up on a chair)
I sing the song of mighty Dionysius!
DIONYSIUS
(materializes)
Someone page Me?
Darling Aphrodite! Try my new Merlot!
(hands Aphrodite a goblet)
APHRODITE
Dion! Hey Big Daddy!
(drinks and swishes in mouth)
Chewy, woodsy, plumy,
(swishes again thinking)
full bodied with a rich finish
It tastes like more!
DIONYSIUS
(refills Aphrodite’s goblet)
My thoughts exactly!
By the way, where’s my warrior?
APHRODITE
(points to the kitchen)
Washing dishes.
DIONYSIUS
Excellent.
Good for the upper torso.
And who’s this screaming little wood-sprite on the chair?
GABRIELLE
(shouts from the chair)
I am The Goddess of the Underworld and my dragon will burn the vineyard!
Oh nooooooooooooooooo!
Don’t worry townspeople!
Xena will save your grapes from a firey doom!
APHRODITE
My latest discovery - Gabrielle!
Dionysian Drama’s next superstar!
I’m her agent anytime you’re ready to book.
DIONYSIUS
Delightful.
How old is she?
APHRODITE
Seven.
Going on 25.
Audiences love precocious.
DIONYSIUS
(smiles)
Hmmm…yes I see that.
A little shocktress.
That’s always exciting.
XENA
(rolls eyes from the kitchen doorway)
Talking to herself again.
I wonder how she does all those crazy voices.
(shrugs and goes back into the kitchen)
FIN
Copyright & Disclaimer Information
Legal disclaimer: Xena & Gabrielle are the property of Ren Pics and MCA/Universal. The following story serves as a writing exercise and no more. I do not make any profit from it and it is to be used for amatueur fan fiction purposes only.
Notes from the Author: This story may not be reproduced without my express written permission. Thank you, dear reader, in advance for taking the time to consider this piece. I truly appreciate it.
© Absinthe Angel 777 aka M. R.H. Guerriere 1/1/2005 - disclaimer below
INT: A BEDROOM IN AMPHIPOLIS
NIGHT
Two girls are sleeping, one approximately 18, the other approximately 7 or 8
GABRIELLE
(gasp)
XENA
shhhh…what?
GABRIELLE
The big dragon, look!
XENA
(opens one eye)
That’s a tree. Shadows from a tree.
GABRIELLE
Dragon. (makes face at shadow)
XENA
shhh!
GABRIELLE
Am I gonna live here?
XENA
Sometimes.
Hopefully in your own room.
Go to sleep.
GABRIELLE
Why?
I live with my Mommy then I come here, with your Mommy.
Why?
XENA
(sighs)
Because one day, when you’re a big girl you and and Lyceus are going to get married.
And you’re going to live here with my Mommy.
I told you this a million times already.
Sleep.
GABRIELLE
(shakes head)
No.
XENA
What do you mean "no"?
Don’t tell me "no".
GABRIELLE
You don’t know anything Xena!
Lyceus lives with my Daddy at my house.
XENA
Because your Daddy is teaching him to put shoes on horses.
Just like he taught me.
We’ll see Lyceus again soon.
You’ll see him all the time when you get older.
He’s going to be a blacksmith, you’re going to marry him and you’ll live here.
End of story.
GABRIELLE
(shakes head)
No. Nuh uh. Nope.
XENA
(rubs her eyes)
Sleep Gabrielle.
Please sleep.
I have to get up and fish in a few hours.
GABRIELLE
I seeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee a dragon outside.
It’s red. He’s very pretty. He lives in the trees.
Do you know all the names of the trees?
We have an olive tree and a lemon tree and a cypress tree.
I climbed up them and I saw all the leaves.
There’s a big bird who’s head spins around in the tree.
Did you see the spinny head bird in the tree?
XENA
(groans and pulls her own hair)
It’s an owl. Please, I beg of you.
Before I start to cry.
Go to sleep.
GABRIELLE
(pulls a piece of cloth out from under the bed and opens it up)
And suprise!
I have my leaf collection right here!
See?
This leaf is a green leaf. It is very big and…
XENA
(small tantrum)
Gabrielle! Sleep!
We don’t need to see the leaf collection.
It’s the middle of the night.
The leaves go away.
Now.
GABRIELLE
(puffs up her face and pouts as she puts leaves away)
XENA
(faces away and tries to resume sleeping)
Thank you.
GABRIELLE
Xena?
XENA
whuttttttttt?
GABRIELLE
(shoves doll in Xena’s face)
You didn’t kiss our baby goodnight.
XENA
(rolls eyes, sighs in frustration, kisses doll)
Goodnight baby.
Tell your Mommy to go to sleep.
GABRIELLE
(settles down)
Xena?
XENA
Yesssssssss???????
GABRIELLE
It’s OK. I’m not scared.
I’m gonna live here with you when we get married.
XENA
When WE?
*ugh*…yes yes
Anything you say.
Goodnight Gabrielle.
Close your eyes Gabrielle.
GABRIELLE
Night night.
(bursts into song and bounces around)
Oh! We’re gonna fish fish fish tommorow! FISHIE! FISHIE!
XENA
(covers Gabrielle’s mouth)
Shhhhhhhhhh! Goodnight.
GABRIELLE
(giggles and bites Xena’s fingers. Closes eyes, pretends to snore)
Zzzzzzzzzzz! fishie Zzzzzzzzzzzz! fish fish fish ZZZZZZZZz……
XENA
(shakes finger out, lays down, nerves rattled, mumbles and collapses into sleep)
Yow! You bit me!
Oh Goddess. Help.
Why does Mom stick me with you?
She’s crucifying me for something.
What did I do to deserve this?
EXT. - EARLY MORNING - QUIET SPOT BY A RIVER
Xena & Gabrielle laying on a blanket in front of 3 fishing poles with tiny bells and submerged traps.
Xena is sleeping in the morning sunlight.
GABRIELLE
(into Xena’s ear)
ding! ding!
Bells are ringing.
Fishie’s nibbling.
XENA
(opens eyes and scrambles towards straining fishing pole)
Don’t bite me again!
Whoa! Yeah! Yeah!
Look at this!
I’ve got a huge one!
GABRIELLE
(talks to doll)
She’s caught a whale!
A big whale and Poseidon says "Xena! Ha ha ha! You’ve caught my whale!"
Look baby! Look! See the big fish?
XENA
(smiles and reels in a fish)
Poseidon said that to you, huh?
Here’s a whale for your dolly.
(throws wiggling fish in basket)
GABRIELLE
(looks in basket with doll)
Lots of them.
Fishie! We’re gonna eat you! Ha ha ha!
XENA
Yeah, lots of them.
(points out other fishermen in distance)
Look at those losers.
They only have to catch two maybe three fish.
They can’t even catch that.
I have to catch 20…..25…30 fish for the tavern before I can go home.
Pfffft…I’m much better than them.
And I’m here before any of them. Fishermen.
Ha…I’m ten times the fisherman any of them are.
GABRIELLE
Losers!
XENA
(laughing)
Hey! Shhhhhh! Don’t you say that!
Only I can say that!
Don’t repeat everything I say, you little monkey!
You’ll get me in trouble!
GABRIELLE
(clasps hands together, gives Xena an adoring look)
Well I love you!
XENA
(rolls eyes and rips up a piece of grass)
Yeah. Great. You love me.
Like I really need that!
I need a good-looking boyfriend is what I need.
Not these jerks that are around here.
(lays down on blanket)
Hey, If you love me so much can you watch the fishing poles again while I get some sleep?
Being that you didn’t let me sleep last night Miss Talk Talk Talk?
GABRIELLE
(mimicking Xena the night before covers Xena’s mouth)
Xena! Shhhh! Sleep! Goodnight Xena! Shhhhh!
(Xena smiles and closes eyes, drifts off)
(Gabrielle watches fishing poles, and puts her toes in the wildflowers but sees a woman staring at them in the distance)
GABRIELLE
Xena..
XENA
Shhh. I’m sleeping.
You love me, right?
If you love me so much, watch the fishing poles.
GABRIELLE
Xena..
(woman comes closer and stares)
WOMAN
(throws dirt at Xena)
You filthy pig!
XENA
(bolts upright, jumps in front of Gabrielle to protect her)
What? What?
What did I do?
WOMAN
You dress like a boy!
You’re filthy!
You’re lazy!
You should be weaving with the other women!
You’re not marrying my son!
No wonder nobody wants you!
I’m going to talk to your whore of a mother!
(woman storms away)
XENA
(jumps up rattled and screams)
I don’t weave!
I fish!
Go ahead!
I’m working for my mother!
Don’t you call my mother….
(kicks dirt in frustration)
I don’t want to marry your ugly son anyway!
You stupid bitch!
And I catch more fish than your damn husband!
And and - stay away from my baby!
(makes horned finger symbol)
All of you!
I curse you!
(throws a rock across the river)
Scaring us like that..
Hades….
(Xena pulls in fish from nets with tears staining face)
GABRIELLE
Xena? Don’t cry.
XENA
(wipes face and breathes hard)
I’m not crying.
I just - you wouldn’t understand, Gabrielle.
Are you OK?
She’s very mean.
(strokes Gabrielle’s hair, Gabrielle nods)
C’mon, let’s go home now.
We have enough fish.
Let’s get out of here.
Crazy woman.
(collects things)
GABRIELLE
(Xena shoulders the basket, balances her fishing poles and offers Gabrielle her hand,
Gabrielle grabs Xena’s hand and starts to walk down trail)
You caught a whale!
XENA
(still shaken, sniffing away the last tear, pulls Gabrielle close)
Yeah..I did.
Don’t worry.
Everything will be all right.
INT. CYRENE’S TAVERN
(Xena puts down baskets of fish,
Gabrielle runs into middle of empty tavern and starts to sing out loud and dance across the floor)
CYRENE
Your breakfast is on the table.
Catch anything today?
XENA
The usual.
More than any man in town.
More than 5 men in town.
(sits down to eat)
CYRENE
Xena. I hate to bring this up again but -
XENA
(frustrated)
I’m bored with it Mom.
I’m bored with the whole thing.
You don’t have to say anything.
CYRENE
But Xena.
XENA
She came here. I know.
She yelled at me down by the river.
I don’t care.
I hate her.
I hate her stupid son too.
CYRENE
Xena, this is the sixth boy.
XENA
(slams fist on the table)
I was fishing.
You need your fish, right?
Am I supposed to sit around like the other women?
What are we supposed to do?
Not get any fish?
Not have any food for the tavern?
You run a business, Mom.
CYRENE
Not curse at her.
XENA
She called me a filthy pig!
In front of Gabrielle too.
Scared her half to death.
She called you a…
CYRENE
(raises an eyebrow)
Oh she did?
She won’t be talking long.
I’ll deal with her myself.
XENA
Gabrielle!
Who put the dinar in you?
Eat your breakfast.
CYRENE
You never yell at Gabrielle.
That woman didn’t hit you, did she?
XENA
Gabrielle! I said…….NOW!
No Mom. We’re OK.
GABRIELLE
(stomps through tavern and sticks out tongue, sits next to Xena, wiggles in her seat and eats)
CYRENE
(laughs)
What an actress she’s turning out to be.
I think you interrupted her show.
I’m sorry Lyceus isn’t here to see this.
XENA
(eats)
Oh you mean so he and Gabrielle can kick and bite each other to death?
So they can both be in my hair?
I can’t handle the two of them together.
Yeah. I’m so sorry he’s not here so I can get stuck baby sitting two kids not one!
CYRENE
They’ll grow out of it.
He’s a big boy now. He’s almost 13.
XENA
You’re killing me, Mom.
She never shut up last night.
GABRIELLE
Go - to - sleep Gabrielle! Shhhhhh!
CYRENE
(strokes Gabrielle’s hair)
Don’t be so hard on her, Xena.
She’s a good girl and very intelligent.
Just a little creative.
XENA
Creative?
Is that what you call it?
I don’t know what she’s talking about half the time.
Half of it makes sense, half of it’s gibberish.
Except that she’s waking me up every five minutes telling me
there’s a dragon outside my window!
GABRIELLE
There is!
XENA
There is not!
GABRIELLE
(holds doll up)
My baby saw it!
XENA
You see? You see Mom?
I can’t argue with her!
I can’t win.
CYRENE
All right. Maybe Gabrielle can stay with me all day.
She can dance and sing and tell stories about her own little world.
And you can fish by yourself.
You can have your space.
And do whatever it is you want to do.
(Three seductively clad women enter the tavern and slowly make their way toward the kitchen.)
TAVERN WENCH #1
(yawns and shuffles past Cyrene)
I hope that regiment gets here soon.
I could use the extra dinars.
TAVERN WENCH #2
(pulls Xena’s hair as she passes)
Mornin’ Cyrene!
Hi Xeeenna.
(stops and pulls at Xena’s cutoff tunic)
Nice muscles.
TAVERN WENCH #3
Hi Cyrene!
(purses lips and gives a teasing wink to Xena as she walks into kitchen)
Helloooooooooo Xena!
Did you get taller since yesterday?
XENA
(blushes bright red, clears throat and continues conversation)
Well…I - I don’t know, Mom.
CYRENE
(eyes her incoming staff with a smile, then continues with Xena)
Gabrielle will be right by my side all day and all night.
You won’t have to argue with her.
XENA
But Mom…
CYRENE
And she won’t win all the time.
XENA
It’s not that - it’s
CYRENE
And she won’t bother you with her endless stories.
XENA
but..
CYRENE
About dragons.
XENA
Um..
CYRENE
And all the other things that annoy you.
XENA
Um Mom
CYRENE
Come on Gabrielle.
Do you want to learn how to be a waitress?
XENA
No! Mom!
CYRENE
Yes, dear?
XENA
(nervous)
I didn’t mean it.
I’ll take her.
CYRENE
You sure?
I can teach her how to wait tables with the other girls.
XENA
No. no. no.
I don’t want her to be a waitress. Really!
I’ve got her.
CYRENE
How to flirt for a tip!
She might teach you a few things!
XENA
Mom!
CYRENE
I’m sure we could make up a cute little dress.
XENA
No! NO!
She doesn’t need to learn that stuff!
She’s fine. Her stories are fine!
(moves seat closer to Gabrielle, puts arms around her protectively and shoos Cyrene away)
Go away now Mom!
I’ve got her.
CYRENE
(kisses Xena on the head)
You’re the best, sweetheart.
Too bad she can’t marry you.
XENA
(groans)
Oh no! Don’t start! Please don’t say that.
GABRIELLE
(shows doll to Cyrene)
This is our baby, Eve.
XENA
(hides face in hand)
Oh gods no…..
CYRENE
Really?
(looks at the doll)
What a beautiful baby.
Eve, is it?
Who’s baby is this, Gabrielle?
GABRIELLE
Our baby!
We’re gonna live here when me and Xena get married.
CYRENE
(winks at Gabrielle)
That’s wonderful!
You’re going to live here when you and Xena get married?
I’m glad someone nice is finally going to take care of my Xena!
(to Xena)
At least it’s someone who can handle you!
Hmm…she doesn’t want Lyceus.
Now will I have to give back her dowry?
(pokes Xena’s sides)
You really should tell me before you steal your own brother’s wife and have kids.
A grandmother is always the last to know!
(calls out to tavern wenches)
Girls! Gabrielle’s going to marry Xena.
My troubles are over and Xena’s off the market.
TAVERN WENCHES
(Waitresses feign loud sarcastic disappointment and hiss)
No! No!
We’ll never get a chance with her.
We wanted her first!
XENA
(stands up and protests)
I told you!
I like boys!
TAVERN WENCHES
(laugh hysterically)
CYRENE
(stands at the doorway and chuckles)
Deep fried or roasted on a spit?
Hurry and finish you two.
I have to set up before the customers come.
(disappears into the kitchen)
GABRIELLE
(hangs onto Xena’s tunic and clutches the baby doll)
XENA
(shakes head in disbelief and sits down)
You didn’t tell me the baby had a name!
GABRIELLE
Uh huh. Eve!
(hugs Xena)
I love you.
XENA
(rolls eyes and detaches Gabrielle)
Ugh.
Yeah.
Nice.
Cut it out.
GABRIELLE
(points at the sparkling pink vision appearing in the far corner of the room)
Look! I see Aphrodite!
XENA
(laughs and scruffs Gabrielle’s hair as she gets up from her chair)
Silly girl!
First it’s a dragon, now it’s Aphrodite!
I’m coming to help you in the kitchen Mom!
GABRIELLE
(giggles)
Hi! Aphrodite!
APHRODITE
(appearing unseen to adults in a glittering pink mist)
Hi! Baby Girl!
How’s my favorite little story teller?
GABRIELLE
Me and Eve went fishing and Xena caught a whale!
APHRODITE
Really?
Like, how cool is that!
Gonna show me your new play?
GABRIELLE
(jumps up on a chair)
I sing the song of mighty Dionysius!
DIONYSIUS
(materializes)
Someone page Me?
Darling Aphrodite! Try my new Merlot!
(hands Aphrodite a goblet)
APHRODITE
Dion! Hey Big Daddy!
(drinks and swishes in mouth)
Chewy, woodsy, plumy,
(swishes again thinking)
full bodied with a rich finish
It tastes like more!
DIONYSIUS
(refills Aphrodite’s goblet)
My thoughts exactly!
By the way, where’s my warrior?
APHRODITE
(points to the kitchen)
Washing dishes.
DIONYSIUS
Excellent.
Good for the upper torso.
And who’s this screaming little wood-sprite on the chair?
GABRIELLE
(shouts from the chair)
I am The Goddess of the Underworld and my dragon will burn the vineyard!
Oh nooooooooooooooooo!
Don’t worry townspeople!
Xena will save your grapes from a firey doom!
APHRODITE
My latest discovery - Gabrielle!
Dionysian Drama’s next superstar!
I’m her agent anytime you’re ready to book.
DIONYSIUS
Delightful.
How old is she?
APHRODITE
Seven.
Going on 25.
Audiences love precocious.
DIONYSIUS
(smiles)
Hmmm…yes I see that.
A little shocktress.
That’s always exciting.
XENA
(rolls eyes from the kitchen doorway)
Talking to herself again.
I wonder how she does all those crazy voices.
(shrugs and goes back into the kitchen)
FIN
Copyright & Disclaimer Information
Legal disclaimer: Xena & Gabrielle are the property of Ren Pics and MCA/Universal. The following story serves as a writing exercise and no more. I do not make any profit from it and it is to be used for amatueur fan fiction purposes only.
Notes from the Author: This story may not be reproduced without my express written permission. Thank you, dear reader, in advance for taking the time to consider this piece. I truly appreciate it.
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